Joke of the day

A guy walks into a bar with a box and sets it on the bar. The bartender says "What's in the box?" The guy opens the box and pulls out a brass lamp and a tiny concert piano and a twelve inch midget dressed in a tuxedo. Bartender looks puzzled and does one of these :dunno:. So the guy whispers something to the midget and the midget begins to play a Beethoven melody. "Wow" says the bartender, "How did you get him, he plays wonderfully"? "Well" says the guy, "I got him by rubbing this genie lamp and the genie gave me a wish". "Want to try it"? The bartender says "Yes" and rubs the lamp. Out pops a genie and asks the bartender for his wish. The bartender thinks for a second then exclaims "Got it" and wishes into the genies ear. A few seconds goes by and all of a sudden a duck walks into the bar, then another and another. After a dozen ducks walk into the bar and more keep coming in after those 12 the bartender says "I wished for a million bucks, not ducks" The guy looks at the bartender and says "I think the genie is hard of hearing, do you really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist"? :D
 
Husband and Wife are Christmas Shopping at a busy shopping mall . The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing and as they had a lot to do, so she called him on his cell.
The wife said " Where are you, you know we have lots to do."
He said "You remember the jewelers we went into about 10 years ago, and you fell in love with that diamond necklace? I could not afford it at the time and I said that one day I would get it for you?"
Little tears started to flow down her cheek and she got all
choked up…
"Yes, I do remember that shop." she replied.
"Well I am in the Bike shop next door to that."
 
"My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her."
 
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