Joke of the day

From a friend via e-mail, the topic if which was ...

"From the Classified Section"

$10,000 06' Suzuki GSXR 1000

Farmington, UT 84025 - Aug 7, 2006
This bike is perfect! It has 1000 miles and has had its 500
mile dealer service (Expensive). It's been adult ridden, all
wheels have always been on the ground. I use it as a
cruiser/commuter. I'm selling it because it was purchased
without proper consent of a loving wife. Apparently "do
whatever the fock you want" doesn't mean what I thought.
Call Steve. 800-555-8292
 
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a
particularly
dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of
dollars for dinner. The woman took out her billfold,
extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you
buy
some wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman
asked .

"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to
spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman
asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done
in
20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead,
I'm
going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.

The homeless woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with
you
for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty
disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a
woman
looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and
wine."
 
A calm and respectable woman went into a pharmacy walked up to the
pharmacist looked straight into his eyes and said, "I would like to buy some
cyanide"

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The woman replied "I need it to poison my husband!"

The pharmacists eyes widened and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't
give you cyanide to kill your husband! that's against the law, I'll lose my
license, they will throw us both in jail, all kinds of bad things will happen, absolutely not! you CANNOT have cyanide!"

The woman reached into her handbag and pulled out a photo of her husband in bed with the pharmacists wife.

The pharmacist looked at the photo and said, "Well now that's different, you
didn't tell me you had a prescription!"
 
Ride to Hawaii

A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish" The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge "
 
A 90-year old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better... I
have a 22-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do
you think of that?"

The doctor replied, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and
never misses a season. One day he was in a hurry and picked up his
umbrella instead of his gun by mistake.

When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver. He raised his umbrella and went "bang, bang, bang", and the beaver fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year old said, "I'd say somebody else shot the beaver."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly".

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I was drinking one night in Canada, when this baby seal walked into the club...
 
This is the stuff that warms my heart!

When I read this, I feel all warm and fuzzy!

ADMIN said:
Todd:

The 9 of us have done a lot of soul searching and have come to the unanimous conclusion that your membership rights should be restored in full to the same level that they were at before this debacle began. Additionally, we have waived two years of your vendor dues to demonstrate the sincerity of apology.

Long live On the Rack!

Can I get an Amen brothers and sister?

MM.Net Administration
Click to expand...

SergntMac said:
Amen!!
Click to expand...

MM03MOK said:
Amen!
Click to expand...

RF Overlord said:
Amen!
Click to expand...

CRUZTAKER said:
Amen!!!
Click to expand...

 
tired.gif


Enjoy your fuzzy feeling
 
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